Monday, October 26, 2009
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Friday, October 9, 2009
- Fat Cow or Anorexic?
- Perfection or Worthlessness?
- Food or Thin?
- Ana = Control, Food = Ugly
- Desire or Disgust?
- Need = Beauty, Want = Fat
- Would you rather be remembered as the beautiful, skinny girl, or the horrible fat one?
- Thin = Grace, Fat = Falling on your face.
- Food = Inner Beauty, Ana = Inner AND Outer Beauty
- People who eat are selfish and unrealistic.
- Have you ever seen a thin person be ignored?
- Thin people look good in everything, Fat people shouldn't be seen in public.
- Ballerina or Beanbag?
- Long, thin life, or short, fat one?
- A moment on the lips, forever on the hips.
- People will praise you for being thin.
- People will IGNORE you for being fat.
- Not eating ensures a healthy bank account.
- Skinny people get better jobs. Just look at celebrities.
- Fat people are funny, thin people are successful.
- Fat people don't get the lead.
- Ana works, Diets don't.
- Fat people don't have enough room to be loved.
- Just think of Ana as a bad ass action Hero. She's your secret weapon.
- Thin = Confidence, Confidence = Happiness.
- Nothing Tastes As Good As Thin Feels.
- Perfect Body = Perfect Soul
- Would you rather be admired for your courage to walk out the door as a size 22, or your courage and strength to say 'No.'??
- Think how much better you'll look in photos.
- Save Time, Eat Nothing.
- Is food more important than happiness?
- Thin will always be in.
- People don't like Fat People.
If it offends at all, I apologise. If you have more, Let me know. I know there are billions of Ana quotes out there. I just wanted to put my own thoughts into something.
I'll be posting another blog shortly, about what, I'm just not sure.
Love and Lite,
Thursday, October 8, 2009
- White bread
- Red Meat
- Anything that makes me 'Feel Happy'
Have instead decided to:
- Eat healthily
- Eat fruit
- Drink lots of green tea
- Drink less diet coke
- Drink 1 Ltr water per day
- Eat crackers if I feel faint
I don't know if you know this, but being thin is AMAZING. And staying thin, and not needing to eat is Freaking Fantastic.
I Really HATE myself right now.
Hope your having a better night than me.
I've decided to be lazy and pro-active, if that makes sense. Like, instead of sitting around all day doing nothing, feeling sorry for myself, I'm going to get a hobby. And by that, I mean, increase my awareness of fashion, etc. It's what I'll be studying next year, and I can't wait. So, Saturday, when I don't think I'll be doing anything, I'm going to alter some pants I don't wear into pants I will wear. But, I'm only going to start when I get hungry. So that, instead of doing it, and finishing and then bingeing the rest of the day for lack of anything better to do, I'll just chill until I feel like I want to eat something that I'll obviously regret after, and do it then.
Presto, problem solved. I hope.
On Tuesday I'm going into town to book my train tickets to go to London in November, and I'm going to buy some sketch books. I figure, if I constantly have a book around to scribble in, it can only help, right? Sometimes words just won't do it.
I've been reading and commenting on some peoples journals, I hope they don't mind. I struggled with Ana when I was about 13-15, and ate maybe ... five meals a week. I hated eating, being fat, I learned to hide it well. I was at the doctors a lot at the time, for a different reason, and he put me on a meal plan and steroids, and all sorts of things that made me gain, that my parents made me follow to the letter. I started using food as a substitute for everything else. I've struggled with compulsive overeating ever since. I just bounced from one extreme to the other.
So when I give out advice, as a non skinny person, don't think I'm just making stuff up. Cause everything I say, I used to do. At my smallest, I weighed about 38 kilos (85 lbs). I know weigh 58 (130 lbs).
Right now, to lose weight, I've decided, I'm just on a water fast, with a multi-vitamin, and a food supplement, and possibly one piece of brown toast per day. Thats my plan till Monday.
I will do well. I don't want to be the Fat Friend anymore.
More later, I'm sure.
Love to you all, and blessings.
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Saturday, October 3, 2009
Friday, October 2, 2009
I promised, so there they are. My measurements are far too embarassing, so they aren't going anywhere near here till I've lost a bit of weight.
Which fast food won't help, so, as promised, I am off to the bike!
Any tips, pointers, advice or encouragement would really be appreciated.
Love and Light,
Thursday, October 1, 2009
The reson I want to lose weight is, I'm on a holiday to my birth country, and I have a boyfriend back home, who I love, adore and idolise. He doesn't want me to be anorexic, but I just want to be thin. I don't see anything wrong with that to be honest.I leave here December 2, and by that time I hope to have lost atleast 15 kgs, or just over 30lbs.So, I have two months of regular fasting, increasing exercise, and attempted vegetarianism in order to get to my goal weight.
Because it's getting into winter at the moment, all I'm being cooked is chicken and beef and creamy sauces and pasta. So, starting tonight, I'm leaving half of what's onmy plate. I'm staying with my uncle and aunt, so it's easy to say I've eaten during the day cause they're both at work, and there's no one else to check on me.
This week, my major challenge has bene giving up chocolate, which has been the bane of my existence since I arrived here. Because of it, i have put on 10lbs, which I hate. So, I decided, this week, no chocolate. Monday I failed. But Tuesday, Wednesday and today have been fine. I don't really miss it, but I've decided to let myself have one chocolate treat on friday night before my weekend green tea and water fast. It'll be the first one I've attempted, and fingers crossed it goes well.
I'm hoping, because my aunt and uncle are distracted, they won't really notice that I'm not eating. But because I'm limiting my money at the moment, I won't be able to go out to distract myself, so I expect I'll be posting a lot over the next few days.
Today I approximated that I ate about 400-500 cals, and cycled for half an hour, burning about the same (I think).
To be honest, I'm pleased with myself for being able to cut my cals like that. Previously, if I wanted to have something I would (explains the 10 lbs, right?), but now, whenever I think about snacking, I ask myself, Am I really hungry? Or just thirsty? And, Do I seriously want to spend an hour working off something that will take me 1 minute to eat?
So it all works out. I'm not saying I expect it to be easy, but since I've made my decision, and I've told you about it, I expect my resolve will be strengthened. And just so I don't deviate, next post (which will be tomorrow), will have my 'before' pics. Each Friday I will post another one. Hopefully there'll be improvements.
Much love and strength,