Sunday, October 25, 2009


As expected, as soon as everyone left, the first thing I did was reach for the cookie jar. Metaphorically and physically. I mean, it would have only been physically but there are places in this house that cookie-like products are kept that are not jars. There are cupboards and basket-things and the fridge. And freezer.
God I hate failing. Tomorrow I am calling a fast. Nothing but water (if I need it) all day. I just want to know I can do it for one day, the way I used to. Why do people have to change?
In other news, I have successfully viewed the premiere of season two of Dollhouse. Joss, I love you! and recorded the second. I will now sit with my uncle until he goes to bed and then watch it. And then wake up at a ridiculous time n the morning in order to go to town to buy my Grandmothers birthday present. She is my second favourite person I know in the world ever. I love her.
I was going to go to my aunts house today. I was supposed to go yesterday, but I didn't. The fight with my mum this morning just made me not want to do anything. My uncle is lovely, but he's such a jerk sometimes. He left my aunt for no reason other than he needed space. They had a three storey house!! That was a few years ago, but I still want to punch him over it every time I see him. And he's one of those people that knows everything. gah. I don't know why she's with him. He's the reason she almost died last year.
Sigh. That took a lot for me to get out, cause I've never talked to anyone about it in real life, not really. He drove the car that night. he swerved it and crashed into a tree. He walked out of hospital while she was lying there, the rest of us not knowing if she'd live. While the first thing she said was "Where is he? Is he okay?" (through her shock and blood loss), the first thing he did was complain about his cuts. He doesn't even have so much as a scar. She's going to be unable to work ever again (which she left school at the age of 16 to do), and permanently disabled for the rest of her life. I truly resent him. Does it make me a bad person to wish he were in her place? Why is it that some people always get off Scott-free?
I feel disgusted. Am taking laxies before bed for the next three days. I go away to Cyprus on Wednesday. More photo's to be had! I hope that my Gran has good time (I'm going with her).
Why is it that God only tests the good people?
Much love and light, and I am feeling positive, even though this post doesn't seem it,


  1. Wowww I totally don't think you're a bad person to wish that your uncle was in her place! I actually completely agree with you.. but I may be a little biased =P So she is permanently disabled.. and they don't live together because he "needs space?"
    I think that God only tests the good people because the other ones aren't worth testing... at least that is my theory, but it only applies to well -- good people!
    Stick with your water fast, maybe add something with calories if you feel like you're going to give in?
    Careful with the laxies hunnie!

  2. I hate how the world works like that :(

    GO FAST :D
    I need to too.
    Oh, erm, if you need a hand with the weight loss, I've decided to do a little competition thing on my blog along with another girl and we're trying to see who can lose the most in the next week starting tomorrow :)
    If you want to do it too that'll be great. It might help :)