Saturday, October 3, 2009

Epic Phail.

Kay, So yesterday was officially my binge day. Horrible. I know that If I hadn't eaten much yesterday, this would be HEAPS easier. Damn chocolate and it's obsessive qualities.
So I ate far too much chocolate, then had greasy chips and chicken fried rice. I feel so ill. Which makes it easier to tell my auntie I don't want to eat this weekend. She had a stomach-flu-thingy a week or so ago, so I'm just going to tell her I was ill this morning and don't trust myself to eat. Which I don't anyway (trust myself, that is), in case I binge again. And so the fast begins!
Apart from feeling horribly tired (I can't seem to sleep at a decent hour at all), I'm not hungry. Just have this weird lump in my throat that makes me feel like I want to vomit, but I don't think I will. Anyway. Today I'm on green tea. And I've had this acai berry supplement, which (surprising though it is) doesn't make me feel as hungry as I probably should.
I decided last night that I'm just going to try to fast for as long as I can. And if I feel horrible, I'll just eat crackers. They're like 18 Cal's each, but I figure if I eat them slowly enough, I'll be fine.
I'm not going to do as much exercise this weekend, just my yoga. I think, if I don't push myself physically, it'll be a lot easier to not break my fast. Does that make sense? Or is it just silly and another account to my laziness?
Seriously, guys, a large lump in my throat. Terrible ill feeling, and not able to vomit. Horrible. I hate being this way.
Going to my grandmothers house on Monday or Tuesday, to weight myself. My aunt has electric Weight Watchers scales but I can't seem to work them, LOL. Another Epic McPhail.
Just been reading the ABC. I think, after this weekend, I'll start it. Eaither that or I'll just not eat. But I'm planning my food now so I don't freak out and not know what to eat. I'm such a nerd.
And I'm rambling, I apologise.
Much love and strength,

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