Today, I went into town and went shopping for some stocking fillers for my sister. I was doing so, so, so, SO well, I bought heaps of awesome things for her, and some nice things for me, and I met my grandmother and we went to a different mall-type thing, and it had all sorts of food and candy places, and I couldn't say no. Well. I bought hula-hoops (best potato-substance ever) and I have already had three mini bags. Then I ate a Kit-Kat. Then. I ate dinner. Because my aunt's been worried about me being so "ill" all the time, and I didn't want her to be offended or afraid. Pasta. I feel incredibly SICK right now.
Did I mention my new found passion for smoking? I figure if I smoke just before dinner then I won't want to eat it. Well. I was being monitored all day, so I couldn't smoke, which annoyed me to no end. I really want one ... Grrr.
Anyway. So I am going to have a green tea later on and water for the rest of the night, and I am going to go upstairs to my bedroom as soon as I'm finished here and finish my look-book pages that I started ages ago, and find all sorts of things to do that don't involve food. Cause Food is BAD..!
I just don't get me at all. I do so well sometimes, and then BAM! A days worth of effort undone by a five minute binge. 1000's of calories FOR NO REASON!!
Ahem. I apologise. I'm a little anxious cause I haven't heard from my boyfriend in a few days. I'm emailing him at the moment. I miss him lots. I can't wait for home and daily life and doing things that preferably don't involve food. If you ever see a picture of his ex, you'll know why. Where I stopped and got fat, she just got skinnier, and prettier, and more blonde and beautiful.
I really don't like me right now.
Love and Laughter, cause I hope you're all having better days than me.