Tuesday, October 13, 2009


Today, I went into town and went shopping for some stocking fillers for my sister. I was doing so, so, so, SO well, I bought heaps of awesome things for her, and some nice things for me, and I met my grandmother and we went to a different mall-type thing, and it had all sorts of food and candy places, and I couldn't say no. Well. I bought hula-hoops (best potato-substance ever) and I have already had three mini bags. Then I ate a Kit-Kat. Then. I ate dinner. Because my aunt's been worried about me being so "ill" all the time, and I didn't want her to be offended or afraid. Pasta. I feel incredibly SICK right now.
Did I mention my new found passion for smoking? I figure if I smoke just before dinner then I won't want to eat it. Well. I was being monitored all day, so I couldn't smoke, which annoyed me to no end. I really want one ... Grrr.
Anyway. So I am going to have a green tea later on and water for the rest of the night, and I am going to go upstairs to my bedroom as soon as I'm finished here and finish my look-book pages that I started ages ago, and find all sorts of things to do that don't involve food. Cause Food is BAD..!
I just don't get me at all. I do so well sometimes, and then BAM! A days worth of effort undone by a five minute binge. 1000's of calories FOR NO REASON!!
Ahem. I apologise. I'm a little anxious cause I haven't heard from my boyfriend in a few days. I'm emailing him at the moment. I miss him lots. I can't wait for home and daily life and doing things that preferably don't involve food. If you ever see a picture of his ex, you'll know why. Where I stopped and got fat, she just got skinnier, and prettier, and more blonde and beautiful.
I really don't like me right now.
Love and Laughter, cause I hope you're all having better days than me.

1 comment:

  1. Ugh I can undo a weeks worth of hardcore restriction and fasting in one day. Don't you hate how easy it is to put back on and how hard it is to get it off to begin with?
    She's an ex for a reason hun ;) Remind yourself of that!