Well...

Okay, So I decided to post again, after reading some other struggle-blogs. Cause thats what I'm calling them, so there.

The reson I want to lose weight is, I'm on a holiday to my birth country, and I have a boyfriend back home, who I love, adore and idolise. He doesn't want me to be anorexic, but I just want to be thin. I don't see anything wrong with that to be honest.I leave here December 2, and by that time I hope to have lost atleast 15 kgs, or just over 30lbs.So, I have two months of regular fasting, increasing exercise, and attempted vegetarianism in order to get to my goal weight.

Because it's getting into winter at the moment, all I'm being cooked is chicken and beef and creamy sauces and pasta. So, starting tonight, I'm leaving half of what's onmy plate. I'm staying with my uncle and aunt, so it's easy to say I've eaten during the day cause they're both at work, and there's no one else to check on me.

This week, my major challenge has bene giving up chocolate, which has been the bane of my existence since I arrived here. Because of it, i have put on 10lbs, which I hate. So, I decided, this week, no chocolate. Monday I failed. But Tuesday, Wednesday and today have been fine. I don't really miss it, but I've decided to let myself have one chocolate treat on friday night before my weekend green tea and water fast. It'll be the first one I've attempted, and fingers crossed it goes well.

I'm hoping, because my aunt and uncle are distracted, they won't really notice that I'm not eating. But because I'm limiting my money at the moment, I won't be able to go out to distract myself, so I expect I'll be posting a lot over the next few days.

Today I approximated that I ate about 400-500 cals, and cycled for half an hour, burning about the same (I think).

To be honest, I'm pleased with myself for being able to cut my cals like that. Previously, if I wanted to have something I would (explains the 10 lbs, right?), but now, whenever I think about snacking, I ask myself, Am I really hungry? Or just thirsty? And, Do I seriously want to spend an hour working off something that will take me 1 minute to eat?

So it all works out. I'm not saying I expect it to be easy, but since I've made my decision, and I've told you about it, I expect my resolve will be strengthened. And just so I don't deviate, next post (which will be tomorrow), will have my 'before' pics. Each Friday I will post another one. Hopefully there'll be improvements.

Much love and strength,

T